Bryan’s Story

Hello, my name is Linda Bausch and my son Bryan recently passed away from a heroin overdose. My husband, my sons, my daughter-in-law and beautiful grandchildren are now part of a club we never imagined existed, much less would have such an astronomical membership.

But, we are, and it does.

The loss of Bryan, our son, as you know, is beyond imagination. Quite honestly, through his battles, I always thought he would make it. The fact that he didn’t is still incomprehensible to me. He had a ‘slip’, he acknowledged it, he began the journey back. And he didn’t make it. Not because of the heroin, but because of what was in it. There is this drug, Fentanyl, that dealers put into the heroin as a ‘filler.’ It kills people. Instantly.

It is used for terminal patients as they prepare to transition. You may not know this, but 2 mgs of fentanyl can kill a grown man. Bryan had 5.2 mgs in him (autopsy and ME report). He did not have a chance. If I had gotten there before the class I was to teach (which has tortured me), he would have been gone already. It probably happened within a few minutes.

He had no pain.

He did not know.

For that I am grateful.

If he struggled by himself, I could now live with myself. Jeff and I consider ourselves blessed that we found him, within a few hours, and we were with him. We hugged him, held him, and told him how much we love him. We stayed with him until we couldn’t anymore.

There are some things I cannot do. I cannot think that Bryan’s death will not save someone else. It must. It has to make a difference. It has to mean something. He came from a loving family, incredible supports, and yet, he suffered from addiction. It happens.

We are now, ‘that’ family. The family who lost their child, their brother, their brother in law, nephew, grandson, their uncle, to drugs, to an accidental overdose.

We are that family.

Did I ever think it would be us? Honestly? No. I always thought Bryan would make it out of his addiction. I knew there would be rough roads, slips, times when we were all, especially Bryan, crawling our way out of the deep, dark, hell-hole of addiction. But, I always, always thought he would come out the other side.
But, he didn’t.

And that is why I began the Bryan Bausch Foundation, because as my son Jeff so eloquently put it,
“If Bryan’s passing can save one life, think of how miraculous that would be.”